Today, I read this statement in an email from the technical manager at work regarding an "end of year party with the customer":
"After dinner, there may be a extra activity like playing card or KTV singsong depend on the situation then. Please arrange you personal schedule well for it. Any problem, let me know."
(Yeah, KTV singsong is some sick nickname for Kareoke.)
After checking my pants for extra-curricular activity, I wiped the sweat from my brow and began to realize there was no way out. I have to "arrange my personal schedule well for this." That means that the only reasonable excuse is a previous Kareoke commitment or death. And, please....play cards versus Kareoke? You might as well be choosing between Cedar Point and the state pen.
So, it looks like this thing may happen. It's scheduled for January 12. As of now, the only official blog vote tallied is "the lion sleeps tonight". An unofficial vote came in for "Ice Ice Baby" via email.
My story is that I'm an "alto" and therefore, "lion sleeps tonight" is not well suited to my vocal talent (note "talent" is not plural). The commitee removed it from consideration from the multiple choice question for this very reason. Ice Ice Baby is preferred especially considering my wealth of experience with rapping.
This is a shout-out to all my boyz, if you want Bowman to stop yappin' like a rapper, y'allz betta vote fo' sumpin else.
Peace!
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2 comments:
After much thought, discussion and analyzing, I have decided that a medley is a must for Karaoke. If there is one way to impress the Chinese, this is it. Right when they expect a single one-hit-wonder...you're going to belt out a three-piece medley. Here's the lineup:
1.) You must start it with a bang to get there attention. This will showcase your rapping skills...and you already have it memorized. "Mama Said Knock You Out" by L.L. Cool J
2.) You will then ease into a funky rendition of "Hot Tub" as performed by Eddie Murphy on SNL...James Brown style.
3.) You must obviously cap off this award-winning performance with "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Davis as you previously listed.
To enhance your performance for each respective song:
1.) Wear a thick, overly sized gold necklace and "LL Cool J" brass knuckles.
2.) Throw on a large afro wig that's been soaked in geri curl oils and styled appropriately.
3.) Pull out a very large Samurai sword and wave it around while displaying your kung fu skills.
That's it. No need to be nervous now. For motivation, think of the steller Napoleon Dynamite gig at his talent show. Amazing.
If you need further instruction, just let me know.
Phil
Well, dude, I'm thinking you need to work the softer side...
You should start with "I'm All Out of Love" by Air Supply. Here's the lyrics to this one:
Chorus:
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
Now, you need to "work" this one ... softly hold the mic with two hand (but with your finger tips), close and open your eyes (but keep them mostly closed and lastly puff out your lips just the right amount. Maybe someone will feel sorry for your voice and give you some love. Maybe you wife will forgive you for EVERYTHING you've ever done - like drag her to CHINA! Just say you "were wrong" and it will all work out after you work your magic with this one.
Okay, second tune...
Muskrat Love by Captain and Tennille. Below, the lyrics:
Nibblin' on bacon
Chewin' on cheese
Sam says to Suzie
Honey, would you please be my Mrs
Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
Now, he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle
Now anything goes as they wriggle
Sue starts to giggle
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
Listen up ... for this you'll need select an audience member to "connect" with. She can be your Muskrat Suzie. You'll also need to don a Daniel Boone coon-skin-cap just before you get started. This should work for you, too.
Alright, the last tune ...
"Against All Odds" by Phil Collins
Here's the lyrics to this baby:
So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face
This really isn't about getting together, but I figure if you get this far you will be just an "empty space" and it'll be "against all odds" that you'll ever have to do this again and "that's what you've got to face".
Also, I really want to hear you do the "Oo, oo's" in this tune.
Love You, bro!
PT - The guitar man!
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