the fans wanted it (at least 2 of you anyways) and so we're bringing it to you almost live.
we were warned before getting to china to always "go" before you head out for an extended period of time. yeah, and it's real easy to tell anna to just hold it for 4 1/2 more hours or ask elijah to explain why Mr. Darcy is so stinkin' irritable.
and they told us, always carry your own tp because most washrooms don't supply it. i know that the millions of chinese people that use the public restrooms everyday all carry their own roll in their back pocket (ignorance is bliss, isn't it?).
well, anna has already had a bad experience at one of the restrooms, bless her heart. she and aimee thought she had nailed it only to realize that she wet on her pants. that was a tough day.
detailed analysis:
before we begin, know that I've never actually seen a professional use one of these contraptions so my thoughts are purely conjecture. they don't mount "how to" instructions or an ODS on the door.
the only seat is the imaginary one you pretend is there. squatting is king in china. fortunately, there are several luxuries that pamper the user, easily making the experience an effective one. first, "rumble strips" are provided on both sides to reduce the risk of losing your footing. staticians here say that 4 out of 10 users slipped during the ordeal before rumble strips were added. and ironically, trouser sales were higher during that period as well. second, there's what i'll call a "front stop" on one end that can catch any "wild pitches". third, public intoxication really is not a problem in china because drinking and effective toilet use are mutually exclusive. fourth, there's no seat to wipe down. you don't have to touch anything except your tp. and finally, and most importantly, it makes you appreciate the luxuries we have in the usa.
we certainly have it good at home. life here reminds me that we've got it good in every way....from personal vehicles to even the bathroom facilities. there's a life lesson buried in this that won't be overlooked by the bowmans.
appreciate your seats this weekend or better yet, recreate your own China experience in the back yard. bring the kids. freak out the neighbors.
tune back in for a karoeke update!
8 comments:
Oh my! Could you upload some pictures of someone actually using it? I am so confused! I need operating instructions with pictures!
So now it's clear.
I feel sorry for the cleaning lady!
Thanks for the visual - now we can empathize more deeply for Aimee and Anna on that horrid day. And be more thankful for the nasty gas station off the highway - at least there is a seat to clean and TP to layer on before using :)
I'll send some little kleenex packets in your next package :)
I am regretting finishing my breakfast while reading your blog!! Really, very interesting, we Americans would need to do some leg workouts before being able to effectively "go" in China. Thanks, Ryan, the pictures were great!!
ttfn
PQ
You could give Dave Berry a run for his money. Maybe this blogging will open up a new career path.
I have Dave Barry's autograph!
It reminds me that I was at a public "restroom" in South America that had the same set up, except that one would stand on cement blocks instead of rumble strips, there was no front stop, and there was no HOLE. Everything just kind of swished around the cement blocks. Or maybe the hole was plugged. Made you want to hold your nose and lose your cookies all at the same time. I found out Dinosaurs are good at that.
love, the auntie
Yes...everything that I expected. As popular as sumo wrestling is in China, how might a sumo wrestler accomodate to this creative "let it loose and deuce" squatter?
pab
All this bathroom talk triggered my internet filter and I had to take the risk to add you to my allowed (i.e. unfiltered) websites.
I agree with Ryan....you are a funny man Ryan Bowman! If someone gets wind of this blog, you may be done with your days at JCI and onto standup! Boy, I'm glad I'm not forced to use that potty....I can imagine potty training will be interesting...maybe put it off til you get back to the states!
Love you guys!!
K
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